Artistic thoughts......

Hi Loves!

How are you?

I haven't given much time to this blog as I've been thinking those artistic thoughts.  Everywhere on social media I see people planning their 2017.  I can't do that.  I've learned that in life planning gets me nowhere but down a path of disappointment.

Generally, I take it one day at a time.  If I do decide to plan, its all about what videos I'm going to bring to YouTube.  The ideas for art and videos are beside me in a notebook.  I run through my mental list of art supplies and pull things out randomly.  I very seldom plan videos though until the day of or night before. 

I've been slowly adding 'real' art pieces to my channel.  I know people don't have a whole hour to waste on my videos but I do that for me.  I miss communicating and having someone actually listen.  I've been told that people don't want videos from the same person day after day.  However, there are a few that have them on there day after day that do the same thing.  I try to switch it up.

I'm not one to go with the grain as most people do.  I set out to make my own path.  If I have to add structure to art, I'm giving all my supplies away.  I just can't do that.  It takes the freedom of being an artist away.  Almost like having your brushes chained to the table as you try to lift them with one finger.  It just doesn't work for me.

I've been asked to open a store and I've given it serious thought.  I have to have time to create amazing products and a place to store inventory.  All of that adds to challenges that I have to sit down and logistically think through.  I have limited space as it is and limited time that is my own.  If I'm elbows deep in painting, I can't just leave the paint to tend to other matters.  Complicated at best. Everyone has to find their own way and pace.  If I rush this, I'm going to have mistakes that are costly and hate what I love most. 

I've done tons of research.  I've learned that if you don't love what you do failure will happen.  I've learned that people want art as it stimulates their mood and offers inspiration in times of struggles.  I know for me that staring at art was a way to keep my mind off the situation.  The hospital that cared for my Mom's Cancer had art throughout the entire building.  I can still see this beautiful watercolor rose in soft pastel colors of vintage pink and mint green.  The bright bold colors on the walls of the Cancer wing.  Art sticks with you and its valuable to the mind.

As I walk slowly on this path, I'm trying to avoid pot holes and big branches.  I don't expect perfection but I don't want to fall either.  I've made a few mistakes and I'll own up to them.  I've put too much of my real life out there and people are like "WTF?!  Is she for real?!"  Sadly, yes its all true.  I thought this would help the understanding of my awkwardness.  It actually increased it as one person is afraid that I'm going to bring doom to them.  I wouldn't EVER let that happen.  Another reminded me that its not all "about me".  Good to know but it is all about "them".   Some just pass it off as storytelling.  Everyone has a story to tell is my only response. 

I've always thought that artists would be the least cut-throat to be around.  You know the type that beat on a drum and splash the rainbow just to evoke happiness.  Sadly, my fantasy was overruled.  Some want all your support.....while others what nothing.  Balancing the hurt and wonder of it all makes it seem like walking on glass would be easier.  I won't give up believing that art is full of heart.  I must remember to read the signs in 'their' behavior.  I can't stand having to have my guard up around people all the time but lesson learned.  Its best to tip toe than run into a brick wall.

I'm shy, honest and caring.  Faults not assets.  I am outgoing but only with myself and how far I have to push my comfort zone.  Art is my way of leaving a pretty pretty footprint to mark that I lived that day.  My heart is cracked but not broken I say loudly.  All the goodness that makes my heart has to shine through or it won't be seen. 

The best challenge I will gladly accept is finding supplies frugally.  I am a pro at spotting deals!  Seriously, everyone thinks I have sooooooo much stuff.  I have things I use constantly that need to be replaced.  I also have items that I've had for 15 years that are now being used.  All bought on a deal.  I find comfort in my supplies.  Its smart business to find items on sale while you are out and about. 

Enough of my rambling artistic thoughts for one day.  I do hope you get out of your comfort zone a tiny bit and stretch yourself to new heights.  Stand strong in who you are and fight with your paintbrush not words of hurt. 


Everyday is a new day to open the door to your heart and learn to art.  Lets go play!

Love & Hugs

Theresa (Cracked Heart Studio)  <3