Stressful Creating

Hello, Loves.

How are you?  I'm stressed.  Nothing new there but the stress of creating can make one more nervous.  The anxiety of making a masterpiece.  The not remembering how to shade correctly or prevent blooms in watercolor.  The non-spirited heartbreaking joy of tearing the paper or slicing the canvas.  The tears of frustration and the spew of naughty words that come from a dark place.  Guilt for buying all those supplies and then dumping in the trash the creativity you feel you can no longer do.  Do you feel or do any of these?

Well let me be fully transparent, you are not alone.  I've been trying and trying for weeks to do a simple craft.  Cardmaking is not for me.  I've cut so many pieces of paper and just let them sit in a bin.  My brain isn't wired to put the matting under the focal point as I'm a traditionally non-traditional artist.  I just can't do it!  *Stomps foot*

My goal by the end of 2022 is to do at least one beautiful card and to not let my Negative Nelly speak.  I have no idea how I'm going to duct tape her mouth since she's part of the reason I'm great at drawing.  I need a Neutral Norman in my life.  He'll make sure I have the right balance of positivity and negativity.  Yep, I shall find him.

The reason for today's stress is I have a company that asked me to do a few projects.  I get so excited and I plan the items before I purchase.  I'll do this.  I'll do that.  SPLAT!  Nope, it just doesn't work out.  What does one do?  She goes back to the drawing board and reconfigures how to use the items with her style.  The challenge takes you longer but the end result may be stunning.  Once you figure how to do it.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you "You Can Do It" because you are struggling to break Negative Nelly.  You don't need a false positive when I don't know if I can do it.  Life gets in the way for me.  I'm interrupted or I'm just too tired.  My mind loses focus easily as its not used to the focus of creativity.

I have to break the 30 second get it done routine and just enjoy the process.  How did I do that?  I had a breakdown and then I remembered I have a video diary of my drawings.  I went to my YT channel and selected 'How to draw a rose'.  I sat and watched the old me do it so simply whilst the present me scratches her head.

Now don't let Negative Nelly tell you that you've lost it.  You've simply grown beyond that point and that's where you start.  Break the page, draw a dot and then connect them.  Breath as though the roughest parts are over and simply let the pencil dictate the art.  I promise you the end result may stun the pants of your puppy.  

The only advice I can give to you today is go through your past creativity and pull a piece out.  Sit down with that piece and draw another.  Don't worry about making a masterpiece.  Just play.  Feel the material react to your touch.  If it turns out wonderful, fabulous.  If it turns out gross, fabulous.  You attempted to create in a mind space that has no time for peace.  Let peace be within the creative process rather than the end result.

I shall show you soon the item I'm speaking of.  Until then......blessed may you be in your life, blessed may you be on your journey and blessed am I to have you.  Stay classy, stay sassy but most of all stay you.

Love Always,

Theresa (Sassy  T)